5 Brutal Truths & A Lie About Life

5 Brutal Truths

In this article, I would like to share with you 5 brutal truths and a lie about life. 

Things that I didn’t just discover or learn, but that I lived through.

For years, I never realized what was holding me back.

For years, I never had the guts to face the truth.

But once I did, once it all finally clicked into place… my life began to change.

See…

Most of us want to make a change in our lives.

I am sure there’s something you want to change or improve about your life.

Perhaps you want to grow, achieve success, make a lot of money, feel more confident, find peace, and many other things. But something is holding you back.

Well….

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that often, and sometimes unknowingly, we avoid the very experiences that will bring about the changes we want.

And…

Very few people are willing to actually face the truth about what it takes and do what it actually requires ot bring about change. 

As you’ve most likely noticed by now, life doesn’t just hand us success on a silver platter. 

Quite the opposite, actually. 

Life tests us, and it keeps repeating the same lessons, over and over, until we are ready to face them. Until we try, fail a little, get back up, learn, try again, and eventually rise above it. 

This is why I always say:

Any worthwhile goal is worth fighting for. 

A lot of us have something we’re struggling with. 

Maybe it’s stress. 

Maybe it’s debt. 

Maybe it’s feeling tired all the time, or not really knowing our purpose. 

We know we have more potential — we can feel it — yet somehow, our full potential always seems just a little out of reach. 

Growth, expansion, and success, these things don’t always come easily. 

Sometimes it means feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, or lost before clarity comes. 

Sometimes it requires taking action even when you’re scared. 

Sometimes it means realizing that we are the ones standing in our own way.

But here’s what I can tell you:

If we are willing to face the truth, life will begin to improve, transform before our eyes, and start to move in the right direction. 

So, what are these brutal truths I mentioned? And what’s the one life about life that could be the single thing standing between where you are now and where you want to be?

Let’s start with the truths:

5 Brutal Truths That Can Change Your Life

1) The Mind Lies to Us (Constantly)

How many times have you thought about doing something and then decided not to because you already “knew” the outcome or imagined it in your head?

The mind doesn’t always tell the truth. 

It often creates stories that feel true — stories built from fear, doubt, past failures, and old emotional wounds. And when we set out to do something big, uncertain, or risky, it whispers things like:

“You’re not ready.”

“You’re not good enough.”

“What if you fail?”

And sometimes, it does more than just whisper.

Sometimes our minds create an entire narrative of how things will go wrong before we even begin. 

This is so powerful that many people never start something because, in their minds, they have already failed.

This happens because the mind is wired for survival, not success. 

Its job is to protect us from failure — embarrassment, disappointment, rejection — anything that could feel threatening. 

Whenever we set out to do something new, unfamiliar, or where the outcome is uncertain, our mind assumes the worst possible scenario to keep us “safe.”

Today, most of the things we fear won’t actually harm us. Most of the things we doubt might actually lead to success. And more often than not, the outcome we imagine is very different from what actually happens.

When we recognize that the mind can deceive us, not out of spite, but out of its natural instinct to protect us, then we can begin to catch those thoughts and question them.

This awareness alone can help us create space to choose our path and take action based on our goals and dreams, rather than being held back by our past. 

Freedom begins when we stop believing every thought we think.

2) What We Avoid, Controls Us

Have you ever put something off or avoided it, only to realize that it made the situation worse or more complicated to deal with?

Yes, avoidance feels comfortable, at first. 

Avoiding a conversation, delaying a decision, or pushing aside a responsibility gives us a sense of temporary relief. But over time, the cost of avoiding things grows. 

Pretending something doesn’t exist doesn’t make it disappear. And often, whatever we avoid gets slowly heavier. 

The task gets harder. 

The conversation becomes scarier. 

The dream feels further away. 

Whatever we avoid, waits, lingers, and deepens its roots, and when we are finally forced to deal with it, it’s often too big or too late.

But what happens when we are faced with a problem, and we turn towards it?

What happens when we face it and deal with it?

Something shifts. 

We start to notice that fear is often just a feeling, not a fact.

We see that we’ve doubted our own abilities when in reality we were completely capable of handling the situation.

And we realize that the most challenging part is often just beginning, simply sitting down and taking that first step.

Here is the secret: 

Readiness comes after, not before, action.

So the next time you’re facing a problem, when it feels like the timing is bad, or it’s uncomfortable, or you’re not sure you can handle it, remember this:

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. 

Courage is moving forward despite fear.

Growth begins where avoidance ends.

3) We Become What We Believe We Are

How capable are you? Really?

The answer to that question is simple:

We are as capable as we believe ourselves to be.

Our beliefs shape our identity — the way we see ourselves.

As powerful as that is… It’s also a double-edged sword.

Because if we believe we’re strong, resilient, and capable, we’ll act in alignment with that.

But if we believe we’re not ready, not good enough, or not worthy, we’ll hold ourselves back even when the opportunity is right in front of us.

Our life follows our identity.

And our identity follows how we see ourselves.

So the real work isn’t just changing our actions — it’s changing the story we tell ourselves about who we are.

But how?

The key to breaking free from this is simple:

Realizing we are not fixed.

We can change who we are — what we believe — at any time. 

With a reason, or with no reason at all.

And here’s the thing most people overlook:

It’s never too late.

Now — let’s go one layer deeper.

Belief shapes identity.

But identity alone isn’t enough.

If we have a dream, a goal, a life we want to step into.

Identity sets the direction, but it’s action that takes us there. 

And sometimes there’s a gap between who we believe we are right now and where we want to end up.

That gap is where we grow.

It’s where trial and error happen. It’s where we build success habits. It’s where we learn, adjust, improve, and become more capable.

It starts with belief.

Belief shapes identity.

Identity gives us direction.

And then we act, consistently — even imperfectly — until the gap closes.

We don’t give up.

We don’t need to transform overnight.

We grow into the person we decided to become.

One decision at a time. One action at a time. One step at a time.

Your true identity is shaped by your belief in yourself and the daily positive actions you practice.

4) We Are Wired for Emotion

How many times have you reacted a certain way and regretted it? 

How many times did you make a decision only to question it later?

We are built to follow our emotions, to listen to them, and to react to them.

Research indicates that:

90–95% of decisions are influenced by emotions and unconscious patterns. Only a small percentage (5-10%) are truly rational, or based on logical thinking and computing.

However, our emotions are not the enemy — they are a source of information. 

They are signals. 

It’s perfectly alright for us to be emotional or feel our emotions. Feeling is not a weakness; it’s being human.

However, there is a distinction between feeling emotions and being ruled by them.

There is a difference between allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and being controlled by them.

When emotions go unmanaged:

Anger becomes a reaction. Fear becomes avoidance. Sadness becomes isolation or withdrawal, and so on.

But when emotions are noticed, understood, and managed:

When we feel angry, we can choose to remain patient and calm before taking action or making a decision.

When we feel scared, we can choose to move forward and succeed despite it.

When we are sad, we can decide to stay open, socialize, and communicate with a friend or family member to feel better.

Emotional strength is not being unaffected — it is learning to stay steady in the waves.

Remember, we don’t have to control our emotions — only learn to stay grounded while feeling them.

5) There Is Suffering Either Way

I know, “suffering” is a harsh word.

But I often tell people they can choose between two pains: the pain of sticking with a problem, or the pain of solving it.

There is pain in either path. 

There is pain in growth, and pain in staying the same. 

There is pain in learning, and there is pain in staying ignorant.  

There is pain in being disciplined and consistent, and pain in not doing so. 

There is pain in building a new life, and frustration in reliving the old one. 

There is discomfort in stepping forward and in standing still.  

There is a cost to growth, and there is a cost to avoidance — we just need to choose which pain we are willing to experience or endure.

No life is free from struggle. The question is not whether we will struggle. The question is, what are we struggling for?

But here’s the thing, struggling to build something meaningful hurts differently than struggling because we never tried.

And often, if we choose the path of growth, the pain will eventually diminish, becoming lighter and lighter, and there will be many days when we feel no pain at all.

However, if we choose to ignore the pain of addressing a problem, avoiding it, or staying the same, we may experience it more frequently, and sometimes it can even worsen.

One expands you. The other shrinks you. 

So if you’re going to struggle, struggle toward your future, not away from it.

Choose the challenge that leads somewhere.

Choose the discomfort that has a purpose.

Choose the effort that builds you up rather than breaks you down.

Pain with purpose can become power.

The Lie: “We Need Something First.”

There’s a lie many of us believe without even realizing it:

“We just need one more thing before we can really change.”

We tell ourselves things like:

“I need to be more confident first.”

“I need more discipline.”

“I need a better plan.”

“I need more time.”

“I need to fix myself first.”

“I need everything to feel right before I begin.”

But here’s the truth:

We don’t need to have anything before we start — we become those things because we start.

Confidence is built through taking action.

Discipline grows through repetition.

Clarity comes after movement, not before it.

And identity is something we step into over time — not something we must already have.

We don’t need a perfect plan, we don’t need all the steps mapped out, we don’t even need certainty.

All we really need is direction — even a simple one:

“This is where I want to go.”

“This is where I want to end up.”

This is what I want to achieve.”

Once we know the direction, the rest happens through the doing:

We move a little.

We run into a problem. 

We solve it. 

We learn something.

We adjust.

We move forward, again.

We learn more.

We grow.

Progress isn’t born from perfection — it’s born from knowing where you want to end up, taking action, not giving up, learning, growing, and building momentum.

The people we become are shaped by the steps we are willing to take now — not by waiting to magically feel “ready.”

So if there is something we want — a goal, a change, a new chapter we can feel but haven’t yet lived — we don’t need to wait for the perfect moment, the perfect mindset, the perfect life conditions, or the perfect version of ourselves.

We start where we are.

With what we have.

In whatever way we can.

Even if it’s small.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if we’re unsure.

We don’t need to have it all figured out to take the first step.

The first step is what begins the process of figuring it out.

There you have it.

The lie we often tell ourselves. 

The lie that holds so many of us back. 

And five truths I’ve seen play out over and over again — in my own life and in the lives of the people I’ve helped.

The moment I decided to face these truths head-on, everything began to shift for me. Not instantly, not perfectly, but steadily. And, I hope the same happens for you.

You don’t need to master all five today.

Just take one.

Sit with it.

Practice it.

Apply it.

Let it become part of who you are.

Then move to the next one.

And you realize that every moment — even the difficult ones — can serve a purpose if you allow them to.

So take a deep breath.

Stand tall.

Face the truth.

And begin practicing the version of yourself you were always meant to become.

You’re closer than you think.

Love,