How to Stress Less | How to Deal With Stress | Proven Stress Management
Last week, I posted a short video that went completely viral.
It was a video of a professor teaching his students an important lesson about stress, using a glass of water as a metaphor.
You may have seen it before, and if not, I’ll play it for you in just a moment.
What really struck me wasn’t the number of views the video got, but the comments.
Thousands of people asked a similar question: “How do I put the glass down?”
If that doesn’t make sense yet, you’ll understand it better once you watch the video in a moment. But in essence, people were asking how to stress less, how to deal with stress, or how to live with stress — because many felt stressed but couldn’t just let go or walk away from it.
Many said their stress comes from things they can’t just walk away from.
For some, it’s the weight of responsibility — work, family, finances.
For others, it’s the pressure of being strong for everyone else.
Some said the stress isn’t even theirs, that it comes from people in their lives.
Others felt completely alone, with no one to lean on, and they had to carry everything by themselves.
And a few even said that stress is ruining their lives, and they don’t know how to reduce stress or manage anxiety.
That made me stop and think.
Because they’re right — sometimes, you can’t just drop everything and walk away. Sometimes stress comes from things that you have to deal with.
When I tried to answer that question, I realized there wasn’t a universal answer — because everyone’s life is different, every situation unique. That’s what made me sit down and do some deep research.
So, I began to do some research. I looked for proven ways to reduce stress — time-tested methods people have used for generations to ease stress, calm anxiety, and find peace in the middle of life’s chaos.
Simply put, I looked for ways to relieve stress.
I looked for ways to reduce anxiety.
Not to walk away from stress, not to simply “put it down,” but how to deal with stress in everyday life.
Because while we can’t always control what happens in life, we can learn and improve our ability to manage stress (stress management).
We can learn how to lighten the weight, reset when we need to, carry things with more strength — and find a little more peace.
Now, to give you the complete context, let me show you the video I posted. If you’ve already seen it, you can skip it.
@jimmathers Professor teaches important lesson about stress:
♬ Boundless Worship - Josué Novais Piano Worship
See, while the professor’s story is a powerful reminder not to carry stress longer than we have to, reality is — sometimes we can’t just “put down the glass of water.”
But we can learn to make it lighter.
We can learn how to be stronger, so it doesn’t feel so heavy.
We can learn to rest our arms, take a break, and come back.
And by doing so, we can learn stress management, reduce stress, and simply stress a little less.
Now, here’s one of the most important pieces of information I found:
Roughly 70% of stress is mental — how we think, react, and perceive our situations — and about 30% of stress is physical, coming from things like hormones, sleep, diet, and the body’s natural responses.
Both sides matter.
Both sides can be worked on and improved.
But if one side feels impossible to control — for example, if you just can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep — then focus on the other side: the mental aspect.
Alright, now here is what I found — real, proven stress relief techniques to help you stress less and live lighter, broken into four parts:
1. Physical Actions That Reduce Stress
3. Immediate Tricks for When Stress Hits
2. Habits and Routines That Retrain the Mind
4. Mindset Shifts That Change Everything
1. Physical Actions That Reduce Stress
These are actions you can take with your body to calm your nervous system physically. They’re foundational to healthy stress management — not magic, just biology.
Exercise
Physical movement is one of the most effective ways to relieve stress: it lowers cortisol and increases endorphins — the body’s natural mood boosters. You don’t need an intense workout; even a brisk 15–30-minute walk, dancing in your kitchen, or lifting light weights can release tension and help your body process stress more efficiently.
Practice breathing
Deep, controlled breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system — your body’s natural “calm” response. Sit down, set a timer, and breathe for just five minutes: 4 seconds in through the nose, slight hold, then 6 seconds out through your mouth. Research shows it can reset your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels almost immediately.
Try yoga, tai chi, or stretching
Gentle, intentional movement combined with slow breathing improves balance, releases tight muscles, and helps calm your mind. These practices train your nervous system to relax, making it easier to stay centered even in stressful situations.
Get outside
A simple walk in the park or any green space for 15–30 minutes can do wonders for mood and stress levels. Being outdoors — trees, sunlight, fresh air — lowers cortisol, boosts serotonin, and helps your nervous system relax. It’s one of the easiest natural ways to reduce stress.
Sleep well
While easier said than done, decent sleep is one of the best stress reduction tips. Consistent 7–9 hours of quality sleep help rebalance hormones that drive stress and anxiety. When you sleep well, your body repairs itself and your brain processes emotions — giving you the clarity and calm to handle the next day’s challenges.
Eat well
Food plays a direct role in stress resilience. Whole foods rich in magnesium (leafy greens, nuts) and omega-3s (fish, walnuts) can help regulate mood and calm the nervous system. Limiting excess sugar and caffeine also keeps stress hormones stable — a simple, effective part of managing anxiety.
Get a massage
Stress often hides in your shoulders, neck, and back. A good massage helps release that tension, lower blood pressure, and reduce the stress hormones that keep your body on edge. Even a short chair massage or self-massage session can help.
Try progressive muscle relaxation
Tense and release one muscle group at a time — toes to face. It teaches your body what relaxation actually feels like and reduces the physical symptoms of stress, like tightness or restlessness.
Get some sunlight
Morning sunlight signals your body to wake up, boosts serotonin, and helps set your internal clock for better sleep later. This circadian balance regulates mood, energy, and stress. Even 10–20 minutes of natural morning light can lift your mood and help your body feel calmer.
Brief cold exposure
Short bursts of cold — ending your shower with 30 seconds of cool water or a cold plunge — can stimulate the vagus nerve, boost endorphins, and lower inflammation. It’s a quick reset for mood and energy.
Warm baths
On the other hand, warm water has a deeply relaxing effect. A 15–20 minute bath or soak (Epsom salt optional) improves circulation, relaxes muscles, and can lower cortisol — a great pre-sleep stress relief routine.
Creative physical expression
If you’re the creative type, moving your body through dance, painting, or playing an instrument blends movement and focus, releases endorphins, and helps express emotions physically — all helpful for coping with stress.
Singing or humming
Singing, humming, or quietly chanting stimulates the vagus nerve and naturally slows breathing and heart rate. Group singing, in particular, has been linked to lower cortisol and improved connection.
Listening to music
Music directly affects physiology. Slow, rhythmic music lowers blood pressure and heart rate; upbeat music releases dopamine and elevates mood. Keep a calming playlist handy to help calm your mind quickly.
2. Habits and Routines That Retrain the Mind
These habits reshape how you think about stress — the mental “fitness” side of stress management.
Journaling or writing
Get thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Write what’s worrying you, what happened today, or how you’re feeling. This brings clarity, reduces rumination, and is one of the simplest stress relief techniques for racing thoughts.
Reframing negative thoughts
Catch thoughts like “I can’t handle this,” then reframe: “This is difficult, but I’m learning how to handle it.” Over time, this CBT-style habit helps you manage anxiety at its source.
Finding silence
Sit in quiet — no phone, no distractions — and let thoughts come and go. Notice your breathing or the room’s stillness. This simple practice calms your nervous system and trains you to respond rather than react.
Be thankful
Each day, notice a few things that are working — small wins, kind moments, people who care. Practicing appreciation shifts attention away from what’s missing and builds grounded optimism.
Practice self-compassion
Talk to yourself the way you would to someone you love. Self-compassion lowers burnout and supports emotional strength. Skip comparison; the only person worth comparing yourself to is you yesterday.
Do something that matters to you
When everything feels chaotic, take one small action tied to your values — help someone, finish a task, or make progress on something meaningful. Purpose restores a sense of control.
Build social support
Connection is one of the best buffers for coping with stress. Talk, laugh, hug, or simply spend time with people who feel safe. Human contact releases oxytocin, which helps calm your system.
Set boundaries
Saying no (or pausing before yes) protects your time and energy. Boundaries prevent burnout and keep your attention on what matters.
Practice acceptance
Not everything can change right away. Acceptance isn’t giving up; it’s seeing reality clearly so you can respond wisely.
Create small daily routines
A morning walk, evening journal, or consistent sleep and meal times create predictability — soothing for an anxious mind and essential for stress management.
Limit information overload
Constant news and notifications keep your nervous system activated. Try “tech-free” hours or turn off non-essential alerts to help calm your mind.
Practice forgiveness
Letting go of resentment or guilt frees emotional energy and releases long-held tension — a powerful, often overlooked stress reduction habit.
3. Immediate Tricks for When Stress Hits
These in-the-moment resets are simple ways to relieve stress anytime, anywhere.
Take 3 deep breaths
Three slow breaths (4 in, brief hold, 6 out) can interrupt the stress response, lower heart rate, and release muscle tension.
Splash cold water on your wrists or face
Cold triggers a calming reflex that slows the heart rate and helps you recover from a stress spike.
Tense and release your muscles — shoulders, jaw, hands
Tension fuels anxiety. A quick tense-release tells your brain it’s safe to relax.
Step outside for two minutes of fresh air and light
Even a short reset outdoors helps your brain and body shift out of fight-or-flight.
Listen to a song that uplifts or soothes you
Music can change physiology within minutes; keep a “reset” playlist ready.
Write down three things that went right today
Noticing what didn’t go wrong interrupts spirals and restores perspective.
Send one supportive text to someone
Connection releases oxytocin — a natural antidote to stress chemistry.
Count backward slowly from 10
This simple focus exercise grounds attention and slows racing thoughts.
Close your eyes for 60 seconds
Cut visual noise, breathe, and let your system reset before you continue.
Box breathing
Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4. A reliable, quick method for managing anxiety in the moment.
Use a calming scent
Lavender, chamomile, or bergamot can cue relaxation; one slow inhale can help calm your mind.
Stretch your body
A minute of gentle stretching breaks the tension loop and signals safety.
Smile — even if you don’t feel like it
Facial feedback and slow breathing together can lift mood and lower stress.
These don’t remove the stress — they simply give your mind and body a short, vital break from carrying it.
4. Long-Term Mindset Shifts That Change Everything
These deeper beliefs help you carry life differently — the mental foundation of stress management.
Realise that “Stress isn’t all bad.”
Seeing stress as fuel for growth lowers harmful cortisol spikes, improves focus, and boosts resilience.
Focus on control — but only yours
Direct energy toward your reactions, choices, and effort. It turns helplessness into action.
Stay steady through your emotions
Feel fully without letting feelings take the wheel. Respond instead of react.
Express your emotions
Don’t bottle things up. Speaking up, crying, laughing, or venting safely releases pressure and prevents long-term strain.
Believe in your ability to handle things
Small wins build the grounded belief, “I can handle this,” which softens fear when stress shows up.
Shift from perfection to progress
Perfection creates pressure; progress creates peace. Ask, “Did I move forward?”
Embrace uncertainty
Trade “what if” control for trust in your ability to adapt.
Detach from outcomes
Care deeply, but don’t tie your worth to results. Focus on the process.
See challenges as training
Ask, “What is this teaching me?” Turn setbacks into lessons.
Practice patience with time
Trust timing. Rushing burns energy; patience protects peace.
Let go of what isn’t yours to carry
Care without over-carrying other people’s emotions and responsibilities.
Turn “what if” into “what’s next”
Shift from fear to action. “What’s next?” keeps you moving forward.
Accept what you can’t control — for now
Acceptance frees energy to change what you can.
Connect, even when you feel alone
Human contact is powerful stress relief; seek connection in small, consistent ways.
Remember that rest is not weakness
Rest is maintenance — essential for coping with stress long-term.
Forgive yourself and others
Letting go of guilt and resentment releases tension and restores calm.
Stress Management
I know this was a lot of information, but that’s because stress management is a big topic.
What I found in my research is that there isn’t one single fix. There are hundreds of stress-relief techniques people use to manage stress, and probably dozens I didn’t include here.
But my goal wasn’t to give you everything. It was to give you something — real, proven ways to reduce stress you can use. Because no matter your situation, there’s always a way to lighten the load, to reset, to breathe again.
Life doesn’t always let us set the glass down.
But it does let us adjust our grip.
It lets us rest our arm.
It lets us breathe.
Sometimes the solution isn’t walking away from responsibility — it’s building the strength, calm, and perspective to carry it differently.
And the more you practice these habits — physically, mentally, and emotionally — the lighter life begins to feel.
Because it’s not the weight.
It’s the holding.
And you deserve moments of peace, strength, and stillness.
So if today feels heavy, take a breath.
If you can’t let it go, shift your grip.
And if you feel alone, remember — you’re not. Every one of us is learning how to reduce stress with a little more grace and a little less weight.
You’re stronger than you think.
And with time, awareness, and practice, it will feel lighter.
No matter what you’re facing, you have more strength, calm, and resilience inside you than you realize.
You can handle hard things — one breath, one choice, one moment at a time. Keep showing up for yourself, keep practicing what helps you, and trust that every small effort you make is already making the load a little lighter.
You got this!
Love,
Take your first step toward a life that actually feels yours.
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