How to Appreciate What You Have While Pursuing What You Want

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life is to appreciate what you have while continuing to pursue what you want.

If you know me, you probably know that I’m pretty much always happy, smiling, and positive.

And I get asked about it quite often:

“How are you always happy, Jim?”

Now, before you think I’ve somehow figured out the secret to happiness, let me tell you something.

I’m human too.

Just like everyone else, I’ve had my share of frustrations.

Things don’t always go my way.

I’ve faced setbacks, disappointments, challenges, and plenty of situations that have tested me.

And of course, I’ve also experienced successes, wins, opportunities, and wonderful moments.

In other words, my life isn’t perfect.

Nobody’s is.

But why am I generally always happy?

After being asked that question so many times, I’ve realized it comes down to one simple habit:

No matter what situation I find myself in, I look for the positive.

Not because I ignore reality.

Not because I pretend problems don’t exist.

But because I’ve learned that wherever I place my attention tends to shape my experience and the outcome.

That brings me to something I was thinking about recently.

The other day, I found myself reviewing some of the goals I’ve achieved in my life.

Some were big goals.

Some were small.

Some took years of work.

Others seemed impossible at the time.

Then something funny occurred to me.

Many of the things I once desperately wanted have become so normal that I hardly think about them anymore.

Things that once felt very exciting.

Things I dreamed about.

Things I worked incredibly hard to achieve.

Today, they’re simply part of my everyday life, and like many things we take for granted, I sometimes have to remind myself that they were once dreams I worked incredibly hard to achieve.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a house with a pool. Now I have it, and it’s “normal.”

In my 30s, I dreamed of having a fast sports car. Well, today I drive one every day, and it’s “normal.”

In my 40s, I wanted to build a successful business and have financial freedom, again, something that’s become “normal.”

I suspect the same thing is true for you.

Think about it.

What in your life today was once something you hoped for?

Maybe it’s your home.

Your career.

Your business.

Your knowledge.

Your financial situation.

Your family.

Your friendships.

Your health.

Or perhaps simply the freedom to make choices that a younger version of you couldn’t make.

I think if we’re honest, most of us would discover that we’re already living with things we once wished for, and that we’re often not fully appreciating what we already have.

And yet, because we experience them every day, they’ve become normal.

That’s the strange thing about getting what you want.

The moment you get it, it often stops feeling special.

Not because it isn’t special.

But because you adapt.

You get used to things.

You adjust.

And then your attention naturally shifts to the next goal.

The next milestone.

The next thing you want to achieve.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I love goals.

I believe in growth.

I believe in pursuing your dreams and continually working to improve your life.

In fact, I think having goals gives life direction, excitement, and purpose.

But I also think many of us accidentally fall into a trap.

We become so focused on what we don’t have or what we’re chasing that we forget to appreciate what we already have achieved or already have.

Think about it for a second.

We convince ourselves that happiness is waiting somewhere in the future, after we reach some kind of goal, milestone, or whatnot.

You know…

When I get the promotion.

When I make more money.

When I lose the weight.

When I retire.

When I buy that house.

When I achieve the goal.

Then I’ll be happy.

Then I’ll have it made.

Then I’ll be all set.

And that’s true, you will be set, you will have it made, and you will be happy.

But the problem is that when many of us finally arrive, another destination often appears.

Another goal.

Another dream.

Another finish line.

We quickly adapt to what we have, we consider it “normal,” and the cycle starts again, making it difficult to fully enjoy the journey because our attention is always focused on the next destination.

All while happiness stays just slightly out of reach.

That’s why I’ve always believed something very simple:

There is a balance to being happy, and the trick is to be happy with what you have while pursuing what you want.

Not one or the other.

Both.

Because gratitude and ambition are not opposites.

You can appreciate your life while still wanting to improve it.

You can celebrate how far you’ve come and appreciate what you have while still being excited about where you’re going.

You can be grateful for today while working toward a better tomorrow.

In fact, I think that’s one of the healthiest ways to live.

To enjoy the journey without giving up on growth.

To appreciate what is without losing sight of what could be.

To recognize that life is happening right now, not just at the next milestone.

Happiness Is Also About Attention

A big part of happiness comes down to attention.

Where are you looking?

Are you constantly looking at what is missing?

Or are you taking time to recognize the progress you’ve made and the goals you’ve already achieved?

Are you only focused on what you still need to achieve?

Or are you taking time to recognize what you have already built?

This doesn’t mean you ignore problems.

It doesn’t mean you stop improving.

It doesn’t mean you stop setting ambitious goals.

It simply means you don’t allow the pursuit of tomorrow to rob you of the joy available today.

Because the truth is, if you can’t appreciate what you have now, there’s a good chance you’ll struggle to appreciate what you get later.

Not because you’re ungrateful.

But because appreciation is a habit.

And like any habit, it has to be practiced.

In fact, learning to appreciate what you have is something many people struggle with. If you’d like another perspective on this topic, I found this discussion on Quora about how to learn to appreciate what you have to be particularly interesting.

So here’s a simple question I’d like to leave you with:

What in your life today was once a dream?

Take a moment and really think about it.

You may discover that you’re already standing inside one of the things you once wished for, and that finding happiness sometimes has less to do with getting more and more and more to do with appreciating what is already present in your life.

And if that’s true, perhaps it’s worth appreciating for a moment before moving on to the next goal.

Keep dreaming.

Keep growing.

Keep setting ambitious goals.

But don’t become so focused on what’s next that you forget to enjoy what’s already here.

Because chances are, you’re already living at least one dream that a younger version of you would be thrilled to have achieved.

Love,