How To Spot Fake Friends & The Importance of Real Mentors

By February 25, 2023 Positive Habits, Toxic People
How To Spot Fake Friends & The Importance of Real Mentors

Choosing Genuine Connections: Mentors Trump Fake Friends

Recognizing genuine mentors from mere acquaintances and fake friends is vital in a world filled with opportunities and challenges. 

In this article, I explain the profound impact of mentorship on personal and professional growth, shedding light on the valuable role mentors play in our journey. Simultaneously, I discuss the importance of identifying those in our circle with our best interests at heart, emphasizing the significance of trust and authenticity in our relationships. 

Whether seeking guidance to achieve your dreams or aiming to cultivate more meaningful connections, mastering these skills is essential.

The Dangers of Fake Friends

Fake friends may use you, offer insincere support, or drain your energy. These relationships can be toxic and hinder personal growth. They often lack authenticity and genuine care.

How To Spot a Fake Friend

Lack of Consistency

Fake friends often exhibit inconsistent behavior and interactions. They may be friendly and supportive when they need something from you but become distant or indifferent when you need their help or support. Genuine friends are consistent in their actions and show up for you consistently.


Fake friends prioritize their needs and desires over yours. They may frequently steer conversations toward themselves, dismiss your concerns, or only reach out when they have a personal agenda. Genuine friends are willing to listen, empathize, and support you without making it all about them.

Betrayal of Trust

If you notice that a friend consistently betrays your trust, shares your personal information without your consent, or spreads rumors about you, these are red flags of a fake friend. Genuine friends respect your privacy, keep your confidence, and wouldn’t engage in such behavior.

Lack of Support and Belittling Behavior

Fake friends may never genuinely support your goals, dreams, or ideas. They might dismiss your ambitions, belittle your achievements, or make you feel inadequate. Genuine friends encourage your aspirations, celebrate successes, and provide constructive feedback when needed. They make you feel valued, capable, and essential in pursuing your goals and dreams. If someone consistently undermines your self-esteem and aspirations, it may be a sign of a fake friend.

Remember that friendship dynamics can be complex, and occasional misunderstandings or disagreements don’t necessarily indicate a fake friend. However, if you consistently observe these signs, it may be time to reevaluate the authenticity of the friendship. Healthy friendships are built on trust, mutual support, and respect.

The Value of Mentors

Mentors, on the other hand, are experienced individuals who offer guidance, wisdom, and support. They can provide valuable insights, inspire you to reach your goals and foster personal and professional growth.

Finding and Nurturing Mentor Relationships

To benefit from mentorship, seek mentors who align with your goals and values. Invest time in building these relationships by seeking guidance, learning from their experiences, and being receptive to feedback.

How To Find A Mentor in Today’s World

  1. Online Communities: Participate in online forums, social media groups, and communities related to your interests or activities. Engage in discussions, ask questions, and seek guidance from experienced members who can become mentors.
  2. LinkedIn: Utilize LinkedIn to connect with professionals in your field. Many experienced individuals are open to mentoring and networking on this platform. You can also join LinkedIn groups relevant to your interests.
  3. Mentoring Platforms: Explore online mentoring platforms like MentorCity, SCORE, or MicroMentor, which connect mentees with experienced mentors across various industries and fields.
  4. YouTube: Watch educational YouTube channels and follow content creators who provide guidance and mentorship in your area of interest. Many experts share valuable insights and advice through their videos.
  5. Podcasts: Listen to podcasts hosted by industry experts, thought leaders, and mentors. Podcasts often feature interviews and discussions that can provide valuable knowledge and guidance.
  6. Local Workshops and Seminars: Attend workshops, seminars, and conferences related to your interests. These events offer opportunities to network with experienced professionals who can become mentors.
  7. Local Meetup Groups: Join local meetup groups or clubs that align with your interests or hobbies. You can connect with like-minded individuals and find mentors within your community.
  8. Webinars: Enroll in online courses or webinars led by experts in your field. Many instructors offer opportunities for Q&A and engagement, allowing you to seek guidance.
  9. Professional Associations: Join professional associations or organizations related to your industry or area of interest. These groups often provide mentorship programs or resources for networking.
  10. Volunteer Organizations: Get involved in volunteer organizations or nonprofit groups that align with your passions. Experienced volunteers and leaders may offer mentorship opportunities.
  11. Library and Bookstores: Explore books and resources related to your interests. Authors and experts often share valuable insights and advice within their written works.
  12. Networking Events: Attend networking events, both in-person and virtual, to meet professionals who can offer mentorship or introductions to potential mentors.
  13. Online Courses and Tutorials: Enroll in online courses and tutorials on Coursera, Udemy, or Skillshare platforms. Some instructors provide mentorship options or forums for discussion.
  14. Co-Working Spaces: If you’re involved in entrepreneurship or startups, consider co-working spaces to connect with experienced entrepreneurs and mentors.

Remember that finding a mentor may require proactive networking and reaching out to individuals who inspire you. Building a mentoring relationship often starts with seeking advice and guidance, and over time, it can evolve into a valuable partnership.

Choosing genuine connections with mentors can be a game-changer in your personal and professional life. These relationships offer support, guidance, and inspiration that fake friends cannot provide.

Reflect on your current relationships and consider whether you have mentors who can guide you toward success. If not, actively seek out mentorship opportunities. Share the importance of mentorship with others and encourage them to explore mentor relationships. 

Also, check out my article on How To Unlock Your Potential by Replacing These 5 Common Habits

Love, Jim